In a revealing interview for Netflix's "The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox" docuseries, All-Star outfielder Jarren Duran opened up about the darkest period of his life.
In Episode 4, titled Still Alive, Duran shared his mental health struggles during the early, disappointing stretch of his MLB career. The 28-year-old said the feeling that he had let himself and others down drove him to attempt suicide during the 2022 season.
"I was already hearing it from fans," Duran said. "And what they said to me, (it was like), 'I've told myself 10 times worse in the mirror.' That was a really tough time for me. I didn't even want to be here anymore.
"I got to a point where I was sitting in my room, I had my rifle and I had a bullet and I pulled the trigger and the gun clicked, but nothing happened. So, to this day, I think God just didn't let me take my own life because I seriously don't know why it didn't go off. I took it as a sign of, 'I might have to be here for a reason', so that's when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn't go off.
"I was like, 'Do I want to be here, or do I not want to be here?' That happened for a reason and obviously you're here for a reason, so let's be the way you want to be and play (the way) you want to play and live the way you want to live."
A former top prospect renowned for his unique combination of power and speed, Duran joined the big-league club with lofty expectations in 2021. He hit just .215 with a .578 OPS over 33 games that season, then hit .221 with a .645 OPS in 2022.
The tumultuous start to his career reached a tipping point in August 2022, when he misplayed two fly balls and argued with fans during a game in Kansas City. He was sent back down to Triple-A later that month.
Since then, Duran has overcome his struggles on and off the field to become one of the game's most electrifying players. He enjoyed a breakout campaign in 2023 and reached another level in 2024, when he earned All-Star Game MVP honors and finished the year with American League MVP votes. He begins 2025 as someone the club's younger players can look up to for inspiration as they battle adversity early in their careers.
"Jarren's decision to share his story is an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball," Red Sox president and CEO Sam Kennedy said in a statement. "By opening up, he's showing others who may be struggling that they're not alone and that asking for help isn't just OK, it's essential.
"Every member of this organization continues to stand with him. He has our deepest admiration, he's always had our full support and we're incredibly fortunate to have him as part of our team."
The Red Sox signed Duran to a one-year deal worth $3.85 million to avoid arbitration before the 2025 season. With the darkness behind him, Duran will look to duplicate his 2024 numbers and lead Boston to its first postseason berth since 2021.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.
