No football lifer escapes the sport without getting weird in the end. For some it is a slow burn. Think Roy Hodgson’s occasional anger at softly probing questions or when, as Liverpool manager, he described Northampton Town as a “formidable challenge”. In fairness Liverpool went on to lose that match, possibly because of players frightened by Hodgson’s assessment.
Others become more eccentric the longer they spend in the game. Joe Kinnear, Arsene Wenger, and most obviously Jose Mourinho. Once so well turned out, easy on the eye and adept with a pithy quote that people with no interest in football were charmed. Now some kind of self-memeing Basil Fawlty experiment, a version of himself gone wrong like the final act of The Substance.
The latest chapter in his Fenerbahce odyssey is an ill-advised statement about the Galatasaray bench “jumping like monkeys” and criticism of Turkish referees after a 0-0 draw between the sides on Monday. Galatasaray have alleged that since arriving in Istanbul Mourinho has “persistently issued derogatory statements directed towards the Turkish people.”
Now they are escalating this with an accusation of racism. “Today, his discourse has escalated beyond merely immoral comments into unequivocally inhumane rhetoric,” the club said. “We hereby formally declare our intention to initiate criminal proceedings concerning the racist statements made by Jose Mourinho, and shall accordingly submit official complaints to Uefa and Fifa.”
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Mourinho is yet to comment but Fenerbahce called the complaint “pathetic slander” in a statement. Mourinho has previously been fined and suspended for his comments about Turkish match officials, so this is just the newest oddity of his increasingly colourful spell in Istanbul. It had all started so well.
Hero’s welcome
Thousands flock to Sukru Saracoglu stadium to watch Mourinho sign a two-year-contract, in the most inexplicably large audience for an outdoor event since the last Coldplay tour. Mourinho admires the inevitable flares, takes some selfies and says “I promise you from this moment, I belong to your family. This shirt is my skin,” which is objectively quite weird. Could this be a marriage made in social media content heaven?
Failed knee slide
The early signs are good, although less so for the tibiofemoral joints of a 61-year-old. Mourinho marks a stirring 3-2 win over Trabzonspor with the mandated football celebration, a knee slide across the turf. Clearly he was expecting something like the smooth and frictionless surfaces of Serie A, judging by the faceplant which followed. Despite the win Mourinho’s post-match approach was to say something inflammatory about officials. “The man of the match was [VAR] Karaoglan. The invisible man. The referee on the field is just a child.”
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Mixed zone death stare
After defeat to Galatasaray a journalist asks for Mourinho’s reaction to a social media post showing his face with Photoshopped tears and the title “The Crying One”. Astonishingly, Mourinho fails to see the funny side, choosing not to engage with the picture on the reporter’s phone and asking “are you serious or are you joking?” while unblinkingly staring at the man who made the unwise decision to attempt lightheartedness in the aftermath of a football match.
Laptop protest
The rules are quite clear about who can look at important incidents on a screen during a match. The manager, his army of analysts and the referee, when his friend in his ear says he is allowed. Important never to show anything too provocative to people in the stadium, nor even at home, but Mourinho does not care for such boundaries. To protest an Edin Dzeko goal being incorrectly disallowed in his eyes, Mourinho placed a screen showing the incident directly in front of a TV camera. He is booked, becoming the first manager in history to receive a yellow card for forbidden use of an item from Curry’s.
United red card
A reunion for Mourinho with his former team ends in a 1-1 draw between Fenerbahce and Manchester United. Mourinho marks the occasion by reacting with such anger to a non-awarded penalty that he is sent to the stands by French referee Clement Turpin. Afterwards, with sarcasm any GCSE student would be proud of, Mourinho says “He told me something incredible. He told me that at the same time he could see the action in the box and my reaction on the touchline. He had one eye on the penalty situation and one eye on the bench and my behaviour. That’s why he is the best referee in the world.”
Touting himself as future Sheffield United manager
Still seething after the United game, Mourinho concedes it might be better for everyone if he manages a team which does not play in European competition and also seemingly sets his own Fenerbahce departure date. “The best thing I have to do, when I leave Fenerbahce, I go to a club that doesn’t play Uefa competitions. So if anybody from England from the bottom of the table needs a coach in two years I am ready to go.” Form an orderly queue.
Guardiola drive-by
Come to Turkey, they said. Forget all your troubles on a terrace overlooking the Bosphorus strait with some baklava and a very strong coffee. Or reignite an old feud with a former enemy who probably hasn’t thought about you for several years. “He won six trophies and I won three, but I won fairly and cleanly,” said Mourinho about Pep Guardiola. “If I lost, I want to congratulate my opponent because he was better than me. I don’t want to win by dealing with 150 lawsuits.” Okay, thanks Jose… Any new knocks ahead of the Besiktas game?
